He's Two - Two - Two Candidates in One!

Ann Coulter is quickly becoming one of my favorite columnists. She has a wonderfully biting wit that cuts through the copious amounts of dreck in the arena, and gets straight to the point. In this case, she neatly encapsulates the search for the real John Kerry. Quoted in part:

Speaking to an Arab group in Michigan in October 2003, Kerry called Israel's erection of a wall between Israeli and Palestinian areas "another barrier to peace."

But a few months later, Kerry got on the fence on the subject of the wall. Adding clarity to the subject, his campaign issued a memo in February, saying Kerry took the precise opposite position of his earlier position. The memo said: "John Kerry supports the construction of Israel's security fence to stop terrorists from entering Israel. The security fence is a legitimate act of self-defense ..."

So the wall was either (1) a barrier to peace or (2) a legitimate act of self-defense. The campaign then said Kerry had meant to say the real barrier to peace was Pink Floyd's "The Wall."

I guess the only territory left to explore is whether Kerry had cosmetic dental work done to get those teeth. No, wait. No one would want teeth like that...