Curmudgeon's Guide for Young Conservative Voters (AMENDED)

California General Election 2010 Edition (AMENDED) (UPDATED TO REFLECT RESULTS AS OF 11:00 PM)

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It's time once again, boys and girls, for Uncle Woody's Patented (Pend.), 100% Effective, Accept-No-Substitutes-or-Imitations Curmudgeon's Guide for Young Conservative Voters®©™.

Every election that rolls around here in California (and believe me, with as many fault lines as we have here in California, when I say they "roll," I mean they slosh around like loose barrels on a storm-tossed dinghy) gets this treatment from your genial host (remember him?). We suffered through the Primary Election back in June, wound up with mediocre (at best) candidates from which to choose, and now we prepare for the General Election, which will (or perhaps won't) be a turning point in Congress during this so-called mid-term election cycle. It will (or perhaps won't) be an indictment of President Obama's numerous failures to do anything except learn how to kow-tow before various heads of state (see: Seat of Pants, Government by). So the results will (most likely in this case) be interesting, to say the least.

So, fellow citizens, we come to bury the Propositions here in California, not praise them. I will examine them one by one, attempting to rein in my hyperactive gag reflex, and tell you in as concise a manner as I am capable how I think you Young Conservatives should vote. Or not. This is a very relaxed voters guide, here at the Woundup.

First, though, allow me to provide you with a handy clip-out summary of the measures so you can carry Uncle Woody's brilliance with you to the ballot box check the results as of late Tuesday evening (I'll blog about the candidates tomorrow):

Measure	Uncle Woody	California	Uncle Woody's Reaction
19 - Legalizes Marijuana Under California But Not Federal Law. Permits Local Governments to Regulate and Tax Commercial Production, Distribution, and Sale of Marijuana. Initiative Statute.	NO	NO (56.1%)	Send the pot-heads to Mexico to deal directly with the cartels!
20 - Redistricting of Congressional Districts. Initiative Constitutional Amendment	NO	YES (64.p%)	Uncle Woody is not surprised, though disappointed.
21 - Establishes $18 Annual Vehicle License Surcharge to Help Fund State Parks and Wildlife Programs, Grants Surcharged Vehicles Free Admission to All State Parks. Initiative Statute	NO	NO (61.4%)	It failed the duck test.
22 - Prohibits the State From Borrowing or Taking Funds Used for Transportation, Redevelopment, or Local Government Projects and Services. Initiative Constitutional Amendment	NO	YES (63.8%)	Don't blame Uncle Woody when they grab your property for a strip mall.
23 - Suspends Implementation of Air Pollution Control Law (AB 32) Requiring Major Sources of Emissions to Report and Reduce Greenhouse Gas Emissions that Cause Global Warming, Until Unemployment Drops to 5.5 Percent or Less for a Full Year. Initiative Statute	YES	NO (58.1%)	Kiss those jobs bye-bye, Young Conservatives. Progressives have once again proven they want everything paid for with non-existent revenue.
24 - Repeals a Recent Legislation That Would Allow Businesses to Lower Their Tax Liability. Initiative Statute	NO	NO (60.6%)	The news is not all bad. Progressives must have been caught sleeping on this one.,
25 - Changes Legislative Vote Requirement to Pass Budget and Budget-Related Legislation From Two-Thirds to a Simple Majority. Retains Two-Thirds Vote Requirement for Taxes. Initiative Constitutional Amendment	NO	YES (53.7%)	Hoo, boy. Hopefully Uncle Woody will be able to retire to Utah before they pass their first simple majority budget. After that there won't be any retirement money left in the state. The unions will get it all.
26 - Requires That Certain State and Local Fees Be Approved by Two-Thirds Vote. Fees Include Those That Address Adverse Impacts on Society or the Environment Caused by the Fee-Payer's Business. Initiative Constitutional Amendment	YES	YES (55.5%)	Fees = Taxes. They finally got it!
27 - Eliminates State Commission on Redistricting. Consolidates Authority for Redistricting with Elected Representatives. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.	YES	NO (60.9%)	Again, predictable. Uncle Woody further predicts LOTS of belly-aching over the first attempted gerrymander by the Kommission.
Anaheim Measure J	YES	YES (62.3%)	No real passion or controversy with either of our city measures this time around.
Anaheim Measure K	YES	YES (72.9%)	Let's hope we're not proven wrong on this one.

Let's begin, then, with:

Proposition 18

Hah! The joke's on us, Young Conservatives! There IS no "Proposition 18." At some point (August 10, 2010, according to the ever-helpful "Official Voter Information Guide") this proposition was removed by both the Legislature (motto: "Budget?") and the Governor (motto: "Budget?"). Can they even do that, Young Conservatives? Did anyone happen to inform Proposition 18 that it was no longer running for office? Did they let it down gently, or was it (more likely) some soul-less form rejection letter?

Dear Proposition 18,

We regret to inform you that your services are no longer needed by the State of California. As such, you will be summarily removed from the ballot for the November 2, 2010 General Election...

Heartless and cruel, that is.

Oh, well. Moving on.

Proposition 19 - Legalizes Marijuana Under California But Not Federal Law. Permits Local Governments to Regulate and Tax Commercial Production, Distribution, and Sale of Marijuana. Initiative Statute.

Apparently, Young Conservatives, whoever came up with the title of this Proposition had already had a toke or two, if you ask Uncle Woody. Not that I have ever toked, Young Conservatives. Although, since Uncle Woody was in high school in the 70's, it's entirely possible that I inhaled without ever knowing it.

Anyway, Uncle Woody cannot for the life of him figure out where these initiatives come from. Aliens would be Uncle Woody's guess (the UFO kind, not the illegal ones) (although, by definition, the UFO kind would be here illegally too, right?). We're supposed to believe that legalizing the weed will somehow weaken the drug cartels, for example. Right. Legalizing something that nearly everyone currently living in Berkeley grows in their front yards, for Pete's sake, is really gonna take a huge bite out of those Mexican drug lords' profits.

Uncle Woody suspects that the real reasons for this initiative lie in the doped-up title of the Proposition itself: Words like "tax" and "regulate" make this the work of the Democrats, or Uncle Woody is much mistaken.

Don't light this one up, Young Conservatives. Bury it. Uncle Woody votes NO.

Proposition 20 - Redistricting of Congressional Districts. Initiative Constitutional Amendment

Oy. This one is silly, Young Conservatives. We voted on Proposition 11 back in the General Election of 2008. Uncle Woody, you may recall, urged a No vote on this Commission but was shouted down by 50.5% of California voters (this happens a lot to Uncle Woody). Now, Proposition 20 appears to try to somehow empower this already-voter-established Commission to actually do the job they were created to perform.

Since the Commission itself is nothing but a boondoggle, Uncle Woody could not care less whether they receive any actual "power" to redistrict this state, period. There's no way any resulting redistricting will ever be considered "fair" to anyone but the benefactors of such gerrymandering, so how will this be different from any redistricting done in the past?

Uncle Woody is a STRONG NO on this one, Young Conservatives. See my notes on Proposition 27 later.

Proposition 21 - Establishes $18 Annual Vehicle License Surcharge to Help Fund State Parks and Wildlife Programs, Grants Surcharged Vehicles Free Admission to All State Parks. Initiative Statute

Uncle Woody smells Sierra Club somewhere in all this, but I can see why they want this. If there's one thing California does relatively well, it's preserve significant portions of the state in the form of State Parks. We also boast a number of National Parks, along with monuments, and other forms of refuge that are intended to provide us with a protected environment as well as aesthetic enjoyment for years to come.

Here's Uncle Woody's beef: Creating the surcharge means everyone who drives a car in California will be paying what amounts to a usage fee for these parks whether they actually use them or not. It's already bad enough that in California we have to pay the State to not drive our junk cars every year, so why should we pay to use parks or facilities that we may not ever use? I personally have been known to go years without ever visiting a State Park.

The other part of that beef is that none (read closely, Young Conservatives: NONE) of the promised benefits that have increased our vehicle license fees over the past several years have ever come to pass in this budget-wasteland of a state. I repeat: NONE. So, I stubbornly refuse to believe that any of this $18 "surcharge" (a tax by any other name...) will ever end up benefiting our State Parks.

Uncle Woody votes NO

Proposition 22 - Prohibits the State From Borrowing or Taking Funds Used for Transportation, Redevelopment, or Local Government Projects and Services. Initiative Constitutional Amendment

Skeptic that I am, Uncle Woody may actually be tempted to vote for this one. Not that I believe it has a snowball's chance of actually preventing politicians from ever robbing their own coffers, but because it should at least be on the books that they're not allowed to. Also, Uncle Woody notes that the primary opposition to this Proposition comes from a union, and Uncle Woody is not feeling any too friendly toward fat-cat union bosses these days. They're part of the reason this country is in this current fiscal nightmare.

Uncle Woody breaks with his own protocols and votes YES on Prop 22.

Uncle Woody has repented, Young Conservatives. After reading an editorial by the OC Register, Uncle Woody is reminded that "redevelopment" is a euphemism for "land-grabbing by local government because they can't stand the fact that landowners enjoy, you know, owning land." That fact alone kills this proposition in Uncle Woody's mind. Vote NO on Prop 22.

Proposition 23 - Suspends Implementation of Air Pollution Control Law (AB 32) Requiring Major Sources of Emissions to Report and Reduce Greenhouse Gas Emissions that Cause Global Warming, Until Unemployment Drops to 5.5 Percent or Less for a Full Year. Initiative Statute

Whew! That's a mouthful, Young Conservatives, and it magnifies one of the biggest problems with our current political environment. In today's political world, Young Conservatives, everything that happens, whether natural or not, has got to be someone's fault! "Global Warming" is one of those catch-all phrases that encompasses everything that's filthy in today's politics. What's that phrase, Young Conservatives? "Lies, damned lies, and statistics!" We have seen report after report debunking the Al Gore-created myth of anthropogenic global warming, and yet the spittle-emitting extremists still insist that we have the power to turn back the earth's natural warming and cooling cycles.

Worse, we continually sacrifice jobs on the altar of Global Warming because it makes someone, somewhere, feel better when we do. This proposition appears to take a somewhat more practical tone by suspending crippling legislation that has killed more jobs than any politician cares to admit, and allows us to stay suspended until unemployment drops to 5.5%.

Uncle Woody thinks it's worth a try. Uncle Woody votes YES on Prop 23.

Proposition 24 - Repeals a Recent Legislation That Would Allow Businesses to Lower Their Tax Liability. Initiative Statute

See my notes under Proposition 23 above, Young Conservatives. But be careful; where Proposition 23 requires a Yes vote in order to provide relief to California businesses, this Proposition requires a No vote in order to give businesses a necessary break.

Hey, Uncle Woody is all for having everyone, businesses included, pay a fair share of taxes to the state of California. But Uncle Woody would like to remind California of a couple of things:

1. Businesses are revenue generators for the state. When you cripple them with larger tax burdens, those businesses either fold up or leave the state. Hence you receive no taxes from those businesses for your precious social programs.

2. The State of California is apparently incapable of budgeting within their means in any given year, so whether you continue to tax businesses in this manner or not, it won't make a lick of difference to the budget. Speaking of which, how's all that Lotto money working out for our schools?

Reason Number One to Vote No on Proposition 24: The California Teachers Association (see: Evil, Personified) wants us to vote Yes.

Uncle Woody says we should man up and vote NO on Proposition 24.

Proposition 25 - Changes Legislative Vote Requirement to Pass Budget and Budget-Related Legislation From Two-Thirds to a Simple Majority. Retains Two-Thirds Vote Requirement for Taxes. Initiative Constitutional Amendment

Another waste of tax-payer time, Young Conservatives. Either you pass a budget (i.e., live within your means) or you don't. The move to a simple majority only means that it will be that much harder for Republicans in this state to stop Democrats from spending money they never intend to have on projects that benefit no one but the labor unions of this state.

What Uncle Woody would prefer to see is to give the Governor line-item veto authority over the budget. Uncle Woody realizes that this can be a dual-edged sword, but when the Legislature hands you a crock of a budget, you need the ability to cross things out.

Uncle Woody votes NO on Proposition 25.

Proposition 26 - Requires That Certain State and Local Fees Be Approved by Two-Thirds Vote. Fees Include Those That Address Adverse Impacts on Society or the Environment Caused by the Fee-Payer's Business. Initiative Constitutional Amendment

Sigh.

Uncle Woody sometimes wonders what our legislators are smoking, up there in Sacramento. There are numerous reasons why this state is one of the (if not THE) most expensive states for cost of living in the country. Uncle Woody has already determined that he will not be retiring in this state because he simply will not be able to afford it. And while there is much about California that he would miss, Uncle Woody can always visit (at $18 per State Park, it's a bargain, right?).

That said, Uncle Woody somehow instinctively knows that if California is ever to survive and not turn into the largest hippie commune in the country, it needs to find ways to encourage businesses to not only stay in this state, but find a way to help them make a profit as well. This is the sort of thing that encourages businesses to hire people to work for them, as opposed to laying them off and sending their work to other business-friendly states like Texas or Utah.

Uncle Woody therefore likes the idea of making it harder for our insatiable state legislators to continually burden our businesses with fees and other charges that make it impossible for them to maintain healthy staffing levels and provide benefits for them.

Uncle Woody votes YES on Proposition 26.

Proposition 27 - Eliminates State Commission on Redistricting. Consolidates Authority for Redistricting with Elected Representatives. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.

If you were reading my notes under Proposition 20, Young Conservatives, then you can probably guess that Uncle Woody would not mind having you vote Yes on this one. Uncle Woody did not like the idea of a Commission back in 2008, Young Conservatives, for one primary reason: They never work. Really. When was the last time, Young Conservatives, you ever heard the Public Utilities Commission do something useful? Me, neither.

Commissions have a way of becoming entrenched, in Uncle Woody's experience. Entrenched is not a good word, Young Conservatives. It's one of the contributors to the Entitlement Culture that has created a strangle-hold on our economy in the past several years. The more entrenched a commission becomes, the less likely they are to ever represent you or anyone related to you on any issue.

Uncle Woody urges a YES vote on Prop 27, Young Conservatives, even though he suspects it'll never happen.

Uncle Woody's Recommendations on Candidates

Normally, Young Conservatives, Uncle Woody simply tells you to vote your consciences and pray for the best. However, there are a few candidates that Uncle Woody feels a need to pontificate about, whether Uncle Woody knows what he's talking about or not.

Governor

It is with heavy heart that Uncle Woody endorses Meg Whitman for Governor. The reason is simple: Voting for Whitman is the only viable way to keep Jerry Brown out of the Governor's office. Voting for any other candidate, even if that candidate is Mickey Mouse and would probably do a better job than the last three governors put together, is effectively a vote for Jerry Brown. There's a reason, Young Conservatives, why we called Jerry Brown "Governor Moonbeam" back in the day. He was living with Linda Ronstadt, for crying out loud. We also called him "Governor Med Fly" or "Governor Malathion" because of continual fruit fly infestations in this state which resulted in frequent Malathion rain, generally without notice. Anyway, if anyone remembers far enough back to include Brown's administration in Sacramento, they MUST VOTE FOR WHITMAN AT ALL COSTS. Not because she's any sort of true conservative — in many ways I fear she'll be even more moderate liberal than Schwarzenegger — but at her absolute worst she still has to be better than Jerry Brown.

If that's damning with faint praise, it's the best I can do.

Lt. Governor

I really don't care who you vote for in this case, Young Conservatives. Just don't vote for Abel Maldonado. He has betrayed the conservative wing of the Republican party far too many times to be given any serious consideration for any elected job, including dog catcher. Heck, vote for the Libertarian, if it makes you feel good. The Lt. Governor of California is perhaps the only job even more ceremonial than Vice President of the United States.

United States Senator

Another move on the chess board, Young Conservatives. Go out and vote for Carly Fiorina. As with Whitman, there is much about Fiorina that I don't trust, but I trust Boxer far, far less. If we have any hope to break the liberal gridlock from California, it's Fiorina.

Everyone Else

Now Uncle Woody is ready to tell you Young Conservatives to go vote your conscience. Vote Republican if it makes you feel good, or pick and choose. Damon Dunn is running for Secretary of State and has the delusion that if he grills the businesses that are packing up and leaving, he'll be able to tell the Legislature why they're leaving and the Legislature will then fix the problem. Not sure what the weather is like on Mr. Dunn's home planet, but if he believes that, then okay.

I can't say much about Steve Cooley for Attorney General, primarily because he wasn't all that visible while serving as DA for Los Angeles. He'd surface every few months whenever a high-visibility crime was being prosecuted, then retreat into his office to hibernate until the next press conference.

Mike Villines figures he'll protect consumers and crack down on fraud as Insurance Commissioner. I've got news for Mr. Villines: he'll be so busy trying to figure out why insurance companies are going out of business because of Obamacare, that his first fraud case will probably not cross his desk until three years after he's voted out of office. He'll be spending most of his time trying to dodge questions about how he (Villines) could possibly let the insurance companies go bankrupt when Obama promised us that we'd all have free health care for life!

Additional Notes, Including Local Issues for Orange County and Anaheim

Rather than paint this entire section red, just consider this to be one of the amendments to the Guide, okay Young Conservatives?

Okay.

Propositions 20 and 27

Uncle Woody knows he's swimming upstream here, and doesn't care. I don't like the idea of a Commission for redistricting that we can't vote on. Period. Just because they consist of members representing all viable political parties in this state, there is NO GUARANTEE THAT THEY'LL REPRESENT MY OWN INTERESTS IN THIS PROCESS. And no one can ever guarantee that to my satisfaction. This is politics at its absolute worst, Young Conservatives, and I refuse to trust any commission, no matter how well intentioned, any more than I trust any given incumbent politician today. [/RANT]

City of Anaheim Measures

Measure J allows the use of design-build procurement for public works projects that support the city. Not a problem for Uncle Woody: this is just an acknowledgment that the rules of procurement can evolve over time as new methods for accomplishing things in a more efficient manner are discovered. Uncle Woody votes YES on Measure J.

Measure K wants to prohibit ever allowing the city to install a red-light camera at any time. Uncle Woody is of two minds on this issue, my young friends. On the one hand, red-light cameras are more an invasion of privacy and smack of "big brotherism" than I believe they're worth. Also, many, many people have made the point that the business case for red-light cameras actually saving lives has never been made. Agreed.

My only hesitation is that there may one day be a case where it can be absolutely proven that not doing everything possible, including installing such a camera at a given intersection, would be irresponsible if it has any chance at all of preventing traffic fatalities.

After some vacillation, however, Uncle Woody must agree with the majority here. Traffic cameras are unproven deterrents. Uncle Woody votes YES on Measure K.

Batting Clean-Up

If you're at all interested or care in any way, here's a run-down on how Uncle Woody plans to vote for candidates not mentioned elsewhere:

Lt. Governor: Uncle Woody is making good on his threat to vote for the Libertarian in this race, Pamela J Brown. I cannot and will not pull the lever for Maldonado.

Secretary of State: Damon Dunn. Yeah, he's deluded, but he means well.

Controller: Tony Strickland. I'm a big fan.

Treasurer (State): Mimi Walters

Attorney General: Steve Cooley

Insurance Commissioner: Mike Villines. Do these people ever understand what they're getting themselves into?

State Board of Equalization - 3rd District: Michelle Steel

US Representative, 42nd District: Gary Miller

State Assembly, 60th District: Curt Hagman

Judicial: I'm only voting one name down in this entire list, and that's Carlos Moreno. Nothing personal against the man, really, except that he espouses some opinions with which I happen to disagree. I have no idea if the man is a good judge or not.

Superintendent of Public Instruction: Larry Aceves. You might think that Uncle Woody, being a homeschooler, could not possibly care less about who helms the education department of the state. You couldn't be more incorrect. Homeschoolers have everything to lose if the wrong person makes it to this office. The real problem with our two choices is that neither candidate, Aceves or Torlakson, would go on the record as to where they stand on homeschooling as a right of the parent. So, in this case, the absence of such statements makes me at least hopeful that whoever wins will, as others have done before them, pretty much ignore homeschooling in the state of California for the next term. It's the best we can hope for. In voting for Aceves I am only acknowledging that, were my kids in public school, he more closely mirrors my own vision for school reform and accountability.

North Orange County Community College District:
Barbara Dunsheath (Area 2)
Jeffrey P. Brown (Area 3)
Darlene Allen (Area 4)

Placentia-Yorba Linda Unified School District:
Karin M. Freeman (Full Term)
Kim Palmer (Full Term)
Susan M. Eckles (Short Term)

Treasurer-Tax Collector (Orange County): Shari L. Freidenrich

City of Anaheim - Mayor: Tom Tait
City of Anaheim - City Council:
Gail Eastman
Kris Murray

End of Amended Post

Good luck, Young Conservatives! Our future is in your capable hands. Uncle Woody will be in Utah, if you need him.

Curmudgeon's Guide for Young Conservative Voters - 2010 Primary Edition

It's time once again, boys and girls, for Uncle Woody's "Curmudgeon's Guide for Young Conservative Voters;" the only voters guide that has consistently provided the fewest possible facts in election after election while still claiming to know what it's talking about. The only such guide that could, if nominated, do a better job at governing than most of the current slate of candidates. The only guide that could conceivably cause severe headaches and abdominal swelling if ingested. The only guide with a preamble that should have ended about three sentences ago.

This is primary season, Young Conservatives, and as such it's important to realize that NOTHING YOU DO NEXT TUESDAY WILL MAKE A LICK OF DIFFERENCE. Oh, sure, certain people may be forced to drop out of the race, and our entire political process may change irrevocably for the foreseeable future, BUT THE HIDEOUS POLITICAL COMMERCIALS WILL STILL INFEST YOUR TELEVISION. Let us be clear, Young Conservative Voters: if Uncle Woody hears the phrase "let us be clear" one more time, he will sue President Obama and his estate in perpetuity for the next twenty five generations. Uncle Woody has heard that phrase in every commercial, news report, and radio commentary for what feels like the last fifty seven years, and Uncle Woody is NOT THAT OLD. Not yet, anyway.

But you're not here to listen to Uncle Woody carp about election advertising, Young Conservatives. You're here to listen to Uncle Woody carp about the carp for which you're expected to vote next Tuesday. So let's get to it, beginning with the inevitable and ad nauseum

California Ballot Propositions

There are only four of them this time around, but there's a lot of stealth politics embedded in these little jewels. They're supposed to cure everything from lazy voters to how electricity is generated and provided to new customers. In other words, lots of pork, plenty of chicanery, and almost zero accountability for wasting our taxpayer-subsidized time. First up:

Proposition 14 - Elections, Increases Right to Participate in Primary Elections

The most telling statement related to this boondoggle-in-boondoggle's clothing comes straight from (WARNING: Incipient Fact Notification) the California "Official Voter Information Guide." Right there, on page 14, bold as brass, are the words "Encourages increased participation in elections for congressional, legislative, and statewide offices by changing the procedure by which candidates are selected in primary elections." This proposition even includes a graphic showing how that process would, in fact, be changed. Bottom line: this is less about motivating "participation" than it is a pathetic attempt to winnow the number of players that reach the General Election stage by limiting the final slate to two candidates of "any party," meaning you could conceivably wind up with two Democrats in the General Election, or, worse still, two Green Party candidates.

At least one analysis that I've read calls this a move towards a "caucus" system for California. The only way you'll get this state to become a caucus is if you equip everyone's SUV or Prius with video conferencing equipment. Uncle Woody says absolutely not!

Proposition 15 - California Fair Elections Act

Call this the "Leveling the Playing Field" proposition. It sounds very high-minded and altruistic except for one teensy little flaw: it would never work. Certainly not in California, to put it mildly. What this really seeks to do is pump more taxpayer money into the campaign coffers of more politicians during an election so that everyone has equal abilities to spew lies like used car salesmen on television and over the internet.

Uncle Woody never fails to be amazed at how surprised everyone is when a candidate says "I will never accept money from lobbyists," only to find out exactly three minutes after his opponent concedes the election that they did, in fact, accept money from XYZPac for the express purpose of having wind turbines built in the middle of Lake Tahoe. Do we honestly think that employing legislation of this nature is suddenly (after numerous failed attempts at the federal level) going to result in "fair" elections? If Uncle Woody is stupid enough to donate money to a candidate, he deserves whatever he gets. Keep our taxes out of it, thanks. Uncle Woody says no way.

Proposition 16 - Imposes new two-thirds voter approval requirement for local public electricity providers. Initiative constitutional amendment.

Uncle Woody really wants to like this one, Young Conservatives. It requires a two-thirds vote before a municipality can provide or expand service to new customers, and that sounds really nifty. Gee! They want my approval before they're allowed to act! But a closer reading of this proposition leads Uncle Woody to believe that what they're really trying to do is limit the availability of public funds and bonds for what may be necessary expansion of service into territory currently claimed and serviced by existing utilities. Truth to tell, Uncle Woody thinks they're barking up the wrong tree here. Far better in Uncle Woody's mind would be to eliminate the existing Public Utilities Commission and create a board that has enough teeth to actually punish utilities when they're found in collusion for hiking rates without justification. This proposition will actually end up costing us more by having long and expensive court battles over such issues in the long run. Uncle Woody says vote this one down and come back with something that works.

Proposition 17 - Allows auto insurance companies to base their prices in part on a driver's history of insurance coverage. Initiative statute.

Pardon Uncle Woody while he yawns and lies down for a quick nap. Insurance regulations frankly bore Uncle Woody because he's old enough and experienced enough to have earned his Good Driver discounts and tries to drive safely. This proposition wants to allow insurance companies to come up with another new "magic" discount for drivers who have a continuous history of coverage. The problem here is that we're trying to reward behavior that is already required by law. Period. If you don't have insurance, you're not supposed to be driving. So even though he has insurance, and has had insurance (with extremely brief lapses here and there because he forgot a payment) for his entire adult life, why on earth should Uncle Woody receive any monetary consideration for obeying the law in California? This sounds like entitlement run amok to Uncle Woody.

The other problem, of course, is that thanks to Obama Care, we have no idea what the insurance industry in general is going to look like in a few short years, and Uncle Woody certainly wouldn't want people to get addicted to discounts that may just as suddenly disappear because the companies are going belly up at a frightening rate. But that's mere conjecture on Uncle Woody's part. Vote no, Young Conservatives, and tell the insurance-mongers to get a real job.

Finally, Young Conservatives, Uncle Woody actually has one or two recommendations for elected officials this time around. Uncle Woody normally avoids recommending one candidate over another, but this election has been a little different. Specifically, this is the first time Uncle Woody can remember in recent years that Republican candidates are calling each other "liberal" on any number of issues, and trying to remember when the last time was that we could get away with making "liberal" a dirty word. So, Uncle Woody's two key picks:

For Governor

Uncle Woody has to side with Steve Poizner on this one. Meg Whitman has some very impressive credentials, Young Conservatives, and Poizner has his history of unreliable alliances with the Dark Side. But Poizner has a necessary stand on illegal immigration that Whitman does not share, and Whitman refuses to acknowledge that taxpayer-subsidized abortions ought to be verboten. For those two reasons, Poizner gets the nod. Fiscally, Uncle Woody doesn't believe California is poised to achieve any significant growth until the nation as a whole begins to recover in a meaningful way, and there's just no telling how long that will take. Uncle Woody doesn't see economic recovery as Priority One for our next Governor. Important, certainly, but not as important as doing more to control the flood of immigrants into a state (and country) that has insufficient resources to support them.

(As a sidebar, Young Conservatives, Uncle Woody doesn't really care who you pick for the largely ceremonial job of Lt. Governor, so long as it isn't Abel Maldonado. He had his chance and blew it.)

For United States Senator

You might think, Young Conservatives, that Uncle Woody would be happy to throw his support to anyone who could unseat Barbara Boxer this November, but you would be wrong. At this point, the odds seem to favor Carly Fiorina, of dubious Hewlett-Packard repute. But there are facets to Fiorina's personality that worry Uncle Woody. Perhaps it's a sexist thing and Uncle Woody is somehow threatened by Fiorina's decidedly feminist statements. Or perhaps it's because Fiorina seems to Uncle Woody to really be just a Republican version of Boxer herself with an affinity for large government and dangerous open borders leanings. Whatever the case, Uncle Woody just can't pull the lever in her favor.

Neither can he support Tom Campbell. Uncle Woody had high hopes early for Campbell, but those hopes faded with Campbell's opposition to Proposition 8 and that's all you really need to know about him.

That leaves Chuck DeVore. DeVore appears to have the conservative creds that Fiorina lacks, particularly in fiscal management. He also sports endorsements from some high-powered conservatives whom Uncle Woody admires. Chuck DeVore gets Uncle Woody's vote next week.

* * * * * * * * * * *
So that's about it for this edition of the Guide, Young Conservatives. The Curmudgeon, as always, just encourages you to get out next Tuesday and vote. Please! But vote your conscience, because after this election it may be all you have left.

Curmudgeon's Guide for Young Conservative Voters

California Special Election Edition (May 19, 2009)

Here we go again, young conservatives. Uncle Woody was wondering just how long it would take before California politicians ("Spending Your Money So You Don't Get To") came up with a special election to hide the fact that, basically, they're just one big, happy, dysfunctional family up there in Sacramento.

Governor Steroids has already shown that he'd rather put the blame on the voters than try to get those girly men in the legislature to sit down and make tough choices in order to balance our budget. Didn't work last time, either. In fact, Uncle Woody is going to go out on a limb here and say that, pound for pound, special elections in California are about as effective as an Obama cabinet appointee.

Your California politicians were so lazy this time, young conservatives, that they didn't even bother to come up with new numbers for each proposition on the ballot. No, this time we get to decide between 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1E, and 1F. 4-F is actually what comes to Uncle Woody's mind when he sees this sort of nonsense, and those who once upon a time had to worry about being drafted know what Uncle Woody is talking about. Heaven only knows what we'd be paying for if the legislature ever made it to 2.

So let's make it easy this time around and give you the ENTIRE BALLOT RECOMMENDATION IN ONE WORD, okay, young conservatives? Here it is:

No.

It really is just that simple, young conservatives. Uncle Woody wants you all to march into your polling places on May 19, look at the silly ballot that's already costing taxpayers millions of dollars during an economic downturn (makes sense!) and select "No" for every proposition on the page.

But, of course, you young conservatives have come to rely on Uncle Woody's rapier wit and detailed analyses of these ballot initiatives over the years, so I'll go ahead and chime in:

1A (Boy, this sounds familiar, doesn't it?) In the last election, 1A masqueraded as a high-speed rail line between Los Angeles and San Francisco. I think. That was several months ago before we elected Hope and Change to the White House. My memory is already numb. Anyway, 1A has now been rebranded as "State Budget. Changes California Budget Process. Limits State Spending. Increases 'Rainy Day' Budget Stabilization Fund."

Considering the fact that we haven't enjoyed a budget surplus in this state since Pete Wilson was in office, and the fact that RINO-in-Chief Schwarzenburger, or whatever his name is, can't get anyone to agree with any of his spending policies, I can't imagine that it's actually the "process" that needs fixing. In fact, Uncle Woody envisions "fixing" a large number of Sacramento politicians in the veterinary sense of the word.

That Uncle Woody would support.

1B Titled "Education Funding. Payment Plan." It should also be sub-titled "Heavily Sponsored by the Socialist California Teachers Association." This one is a highly transparent attempt by the teachers union in this state to punish the Governator for "borrowing" $2 billion a few years ago and forgetting (you know how it is with taxes) to pay it back. Can't get it back from Arnie? Soak the taxpayers!

In fact, 1A and 1B are being heavily pursued by the CTA, and it's no wonder. They want "their" money back, and they want to prevent state politicos from ever grabbing it again.

I wish them better luck than we taxpayers have had, but they'll get no help from Uncle Woody.

1C "Lottery Modernization Act." Oh, for Pete's sake. We don't "need" a lottery in the first place, and now they think that "modernizing" it is somehow going to generate more money for the state. So, let's see: they'll need to update lottery machines across the state, then figure out a way to recoup the investment. What to do... what to do...? Wait! Of course! The taxpayers will help! They LOVE the lottery!

Just one quick question: How many of those innumerable millionaires you've created with the lottery still live in California? Anyone? Bueller?

1D "Protects Children's Services Funding. Helps Balance State Budget." So, I'm a little surprised that I haven't seen intensive video of starving children a la Ethopian relief agency ads, because that's frankly the way this proposition is written. "Temporarily provides greater flexibility in funding to preserve health and human services for young children" is how this travesty begins. What they leave out is that they're really trying to get funding for all those undocumented children that taxpayers are getting more leery of supporting when they're having a hard time saving up for their own retirements these days.

Also, and let Uncle Woody be crystal clear here, young conservatives: the State General Fund is not a sacred cow. Time and time again, Sacramento has proven itself capable of moving that money around like some legalized Ponzi scheme, and nary a nickel of it ever ends up where it was intended.

1E "Mental Health Services Funding. Temporary Reallocation. Helps Balance State Budget."

Right. Also solves global warming, cures the common cold, and generates cold fusion renewable energy sources.

Or not.

Look, as with 1D, this is just another attempt by special interest lobbies in Sacramento to get their hands on money that we don't have. So, shuffle it around temporarily, then slip it back into the General Fund when no one is looking. Right? What could be easier?

Oh, Uncle Woody doesn't know... how about balancing the actual state budget for a change?

1F "Elected Officials' Salaries. Prevents Pay Increases During Budget Deficit Years." This one actually made Uncle Woody laugh, young conservatives. Not out loud, though. It's after midnight here at Hacienda Woody, and Uncle Woody doesn't want to wake Auntie Woody up. But I'm laughing on the inside.

Hey, we already have safeguards for preventing pay increases for elected officials, but we voters are typically too lazy or too stupid to actually use them. It's called "voting the bums out," and so far as Uncle Woody is concerned, no politician in Sacramento is immune. Or ought to be, anyway. If these idiots in tailored suits actually believe that they deserve to be paid more for wasting our money in the first place, then Uncle Woody thinks it's time to help them with a career adjustment.

So there you have it, young conservatives. Doubtless you're wondering to yourselves, "Gee. How can we possibly repay Uncle Woody for this extremely valuable advice?" Whereupon I reply, "Aw, shucks, young conservatives, it's nothing really. No, really. It's nothing. Put down the pitchforks and torches, young conservatives. Uncle Woody was only kidding! Really! Vote any way you like! Please!!"

I'm nothing if not a patriot.

Curmudgeon's Guide for Young Conservative Voters - 2008 General Election (California) Edition - UPDATED

LAST UPDATE (I PROMISE!): This may well be the most important election we've had in the last twenty years. There are clear choices to be made here, many of them between polar opposites (as with Proposition 8).

You may have noticed that I do not generally use the Curmudgeon's Guide to discuss candidates. The simple reason is, there's too many of them. Uncle Woody has a hard enough time deciding between our local candidates, let alone keeping an eye on the rest of the state or, indeed, the nation.

However, as I have kept up with the news reports and blogs over the past several weeks, one thing is crystal clear in Uncle Woody's mind: Barack Obama needs to be defeated tomorrow. His election will usher in an era of socialist-leaning programs and policies, the likes of which have not been seen since the New Deal of Franklin D. Roosevelt. And I do not mean that to be a favorable comparison. The New Deal addressed a series of national woes, true. But rather than let them simply expire over time as the nation righted itself, they were codified into our collective consciousness and we have been dealing with those consequences for going on four generations now. Barack Obama will represent a tremendous step backward for this country, and it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE COLOR OF HIS SKIN. It is entirely about his political philosophies, none of which show any understanding of the intent or purpose of the United States Constitution.

One other comment is directed at voters in western Pennsylvania who must choose between incumbent Rep. John Murtha, or newcomer Bill Russell. Given Murtha's tireless rantings and insults which he has directed at both the Marines who served in Haditha, as well as his own constituents, I would be absolutely astonished if Murtha is somehow re-elected tomorrow.

But whatever you do, people, or however you intend to vote, you must vote. You must participate in this process if we are to have any hope at all of resurrecting the form of government envisioned by our founding fathers.

UPDATE: Tom McClintock is one of the last reliable conservatives we have in California politics today. With very few exceptions (and what would life be without a few exceptions?) he has tended to vote for or support my own views on a wide range of issues. I just received an email that outlines Tom's recommendations for the Propositions on this ballot. I find that we match pretty well, with just a few differences. I'll note those differences below.
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Hey, there, Young Conservatives! It's been a busy year. Coming up on Election Number Three in this state, which by my count is approximately two elections too many.

However, the monster must be fed, and you're here because you're looking for some deep, insightful analysis presented in a concise format that will make all the California ballot initiatives clear in your young minds.

What you get instead is whatever knee-jerk reactions Uncle Woody has had whilst perusing the voluminous "Official Voter Information Guide" that weighs approximately as much as the car you're driving right now. Shame on you, Young Conservatives! Pull over before you start reading this stuff!

And now, for your Ritalin induced dementia research and reading pleasure, we present you with

Uncle Woody's Curmudgeon's Guide for Young Conservative Voters, 2008 General Election (California) Edition

Prop. 1A - Safe, Reliable High-Speed Passenger Train Bond Act.

The idea here is to issue bonds (state politicians' favorite non-tax tax) in the amount of just under $10 billion to build and improve passenger rail service between the major population centers in the state. Hence a trip from Los Angeles to Oakland would take 2 hours and 40 minutes. Sounds terrific, and Uncle Woody is an old railfan from waaay back. I just don't know if there's enough interest in such commutes (except for state-hopping politicians, perhaps) to really make any money off of it. Reminds me of past attempts to build high-speed lines between Los Angeles and Las Vegas. That one would have had you losing money paying for the line, and losing your shirt when you got there.

Uncle Woody says get out of the way and let Amtrak do their thing. No on Prop 1A.

Prop. 2 - Standards for Confining Farm Animals. Initiative Statute.

Thinly veiled attempt by the ASPCA and PETA to quit torturing animals that are targeted for eventual slaughter and eating anyway. Forcing "humane" conditions on growers just inevitably raises prices between them and the dinner table, which, I have little doubt, is PETA's ultimate goal. Make the animals expensive enough to eat, and everyone converts to Veganology.

(Tom McClintock appears to take a sort of reverse philosophy from Bruce the Shark in "Finding Nemo." Animals are food, not friends.)

Uncle Woody oinks in their general direction. No on Prop 2.

Prop. 3 - Children’s Hospital Bond Act. Grant Program. Initiative Statute.

Uncle Woody must break with his traditional curmudgeonry in this particular instance. Children's (and other) hospitals across the state provide services that Uncle Woody's extended family has required in the past, and they always need more funds. This money is used to help maintain, increase, and promote the level of care and research that these hospitals provide. Even though much of Proposition 61's funds have yet to be awarded, we need to keep this money flowing. I'd even rather see the money we might have spent on high-speed rail travel being spent on kids instead. Cancer, in particular, is much more pervasive now than it was even ten years ago.

[Here's one of the differences I have with Tom McClintock. He finds use of "children" to be a cynical way of funneling taxpayer money into private hospital concerns. That may be true; I'm certainly no legal or financial expert. However, I have always watched with no small concern as we continue to try to provide quality medical care with fewer facilities and underpaid staff. I hold my line on Prop 3.]

Uncle Woody votes an unqualified Yes on Prop 3.

Prop. 4 - Waiting Period and Parental Notification Before Termination of Minor’s Pregnancy. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.

Here we go again. We keep trying to outwit our teenagers, rather than communicate with them. Look, parents, if you're so worried about your daughter rushing out to get an abortion without your consent and knowledge, then you have already slammed the doors of communication shut between you. If you want to get ahead of the curve, STAY INVOLVED IN THEIR LIVES. Just because they're old enough to go to high school is no reason to abdicate your position AND INFLUENCE as a parent. If you love your kids, help them know that their lives are safe in your arms. That includes being able to come to you with news of a mistake — even a huge one like unprotected sex — without having to fear for their young lives.

I hate to admit that Planned Parenthood, of all subversive organizations, might be right, but forcing doctors to tell parents about abortions 48 hours before performing them is only going to drive kids to seek such treatment elsewhere, under unsafe conditions. If you'd rather your daughter not get an abortion, teach her about the nobility of adoption. Then go vote for legislation that criminalizes all elective abortion.

[Here again I disagree with McClintock. Look, I'm not saying that requiring parents to be notified before their child gets an abortion is a bad thing. I'm all for keeping parents in the loop. My argument is that if you've gotten to the point where a provider has to inform you that your child wants an abortion, you've already missed the boat. TALK TO YOUR KIDS. If you want to vote Yes on Prop 4, Uncle Woody will not stand in your way. I really won't howl if it passes. I just think it won't accomplish everything its proponents think it will.]

Try again and get it right, folks. Uncle Woody votes No on Prop 4.

Prop. 5 - Nonviolent Drug Offenses. Sentencing, Parole and Rehabilitation. Initiative Statute.

Uncle Woody sees several huge problems with this initiative. The biggest problem, both in terms of uselessness and gross weight, is a "19 member board" to be created to direct parole and rehabilitation policy. In other words, a new bureaucracy that will toss drug offenders into rehab, wash their collective hands of the offenders, then gasp with surprise when 90% of those offenders wind up back in jail.

Here's where Hollywood really sets the example, folks. How many rehabbed actors and musicians have cleaned up and stayed that way?

Uncle Woody votes No way, Dude, on Prop 5.

Prop. 6 - Police and Law Enforcement Funding. Criminal Penalties and Laws. Initiative Statute.

Uncle Woody supposes that, since he votes No for Prop 5, he'd better be ready to vote for increases in funding for law enforcement. Since I don't, you know, believe in rehab, for example. This initiative alots nearly $10 billion (that figure, again!) for police, sheriffs, district attorneys, and facilities to handle stiffer regulations with regards to gang activity in particular. In other words, it's all intertwined in this initiative, and voting against it kind of kills the whole thing.

My problem here is that we continue to view gangs as just another element of society with (as some have argued) potential for (here's that word again!) rehabilitation. Uncle Woody, on the other hand, keeps wishing someone will wake up and actually label gangs as what they really are: enemy combatants. Then we can persecute and prosecute under provisions of Homeland Security and send in the National Guard, rather than wasting the efforts of good cops.

Until then, however, Uncle Woody will swallow hard and vote Yes for Prop 6.

Prop. 7 - Renewable Energy Generation. Initiative Statute.

Requires utilities in California to generate 20% of the power from renewable sources by 2010, 40% by 2020, and 50% by 2025.

Sounds wonderful, doesn't it? But there's a problem, and this initiative isn't going to solve it. We DON'T HAVE THE INFRASTRUCTURE TO SUPPORT THIS IDEA. Honestly; am I the only one in this state still waiting to see Schwarzenegger's promised "Hydrogen Corridor?" Well, guess what: that's an infrastructure issue, and WE AREN'T THERE YET. Ask folks in Tehachapi how much of a break they get on power provided by all those ugly windmills that besmirch their lovely foothills.

There's also the small issue of calendar. By my calendar, we have just over 15 months left until 2010. Even if we give them until December of 2010, that only gives them 27 months to come up with this 20% of renewable power. It will take 26 months alone for the Public Utilities Commission ("Preventing Your Power For Your Own Good") to approve the plans.

Uncle Woody votes Lights Out (that's "no" in utility-speak) on Prop 7.

Prop. 8 - Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry. Initiative Constitutional Amendment.

You just know that Jerry Brown came up with this description. "Eliminates" their right. Cute, that.

A future post is forthcoming (delivered, as promised, here) in regards to Proposition 8. There are arguments aplenty in support of the initiative, one of which is that it took 61% of California voters to approve the exact same language in Proposition 22 back in 2000, but only 4 arrogant California Supreme Court justices to overturn it a few months ago. Said it wasn't "constitutional." Like they would know.

Let's make it constitutional. Uncle Woody votes YES on Prop 8.

Prop. 9 - Criminal Justice System. Victims’ Rights. Parole. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.

This one will be tricky. So-called "victims rights" are tenuous at best, especially in California where we seem to glory in creating safe-havens for every undocumented murderer that comes across the border. Berkeley still hasn't learned this lesson, and I doubt that this amendment will convince them otherwise. There's also the fact that the real damage to victims is typically done in court, and is inflicted by defense attorneys whose only goal in life is to win the case, without any moral compunction about using every available loophole to prevent an obviously guilty defendant from receiving the full brunt of the penalty they deserve.

Still, as a sort of consolation prize, we have the opportunity to make it somewhat harder for criminals to be granted parole, warn the victims when parole may be granted, and give them a greater voice in whether parole should be considered.

Uncle Woody votes Yes for Prop 9.

Prop. 10 - Alternative Fuel Vehicles and Renewable Energy. Bonds. Initiative Statute.

Money, money, money. Everyone wants it. No one wants to give it. Particularly when they refuse to build infrastructure to support what they're asking for. Look, Uncle Woody is all for alternative fuels. The problem is, we're not very good about implementing these ideas. Everyone who has a hand in it is really looking to have a controlling interest (read: huge payback) in how it grows. If you want hydrogen fueling stations at more than a handful of locations around the state, you need to make it worth someone's while to build them. This is something Schwarzenegger has utterly failed to do, and remains one of the last things on which he campaigned that hasn't seen much activity. Bio-fuels are also dicey. We have a tendency to go overboard when something seems to work (corn, for example), then realize that we fouled up and forgot that people have a tendency to want to eat the stuff, not burn it in cars.

Uncle Woody "Brakes" for Prop 10. Show me something that will work to everyone's advantage, then we'll talk.

Prop. 11 - Redistricting. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute.

1. California's redistricting process is broken.
2. Everyone wants it fixed.
3. No one can agree on how this should be accomplished.

Solution: make the voters do it! Really. This initiative creates a 14 member commission from a pool of 60 (can you say "lottery?"). Of the 14, 5 must be Democrats, 5 must be Republicans, and 4 must belong to "neither party."

Oh, really? Does that mean this commission might be influenced by 4 stoners from the Green Party?

[My final conflict with Mr. McClintock. He posits that voters, not legislators, should draw the lines. My problem is with the way this thing is written. It won't be "the voters" making these decisions, it will be a lottery-based commission of 5, 5, and 4. I'm being a tad facetious with my "stoners" crack, but not by much. Just look at all the nonsense surrounding the selection of a simple jury for any given trial, and you'll see where my concerns lie. This again will not accomplish what I think the proponents believe it will accomplish. There are too many question marks, and not everyone who registers Republican acts like a Republican. Can you say "Schwarzenegger?" I'm sticking with my curmudgeonly NO vote.]

Uncle Woody votes to snuff out Prop 11. Sober commissions only, please.

Prop. 12 - Veterans’ Bond Act of 2008.

The only argument provided against this initiative is that the Cal-Vet loan program isn't limiting enough. Seriously. Someone volunteers to serve in the military to protect their country and (by extension) their state, and some Bozo in a three-piece suit wants to limit loans to only those veterans who actually serve in a combat area.

This program makes more sense than anything Congress is currently hashing out with respect to our credit crisis. Uncle Woody salutes the flag for Prop 12.
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Convenient summary for Young Conservatives to clip out and take to the polls:

Proposition
1A - NO
2 - NO
3 - YES [McClintock: NO]
4 - NO [McClintock: YES]
5 - NO
6 - YES
7 - NO
8 - YES
9 - YES
10 - NO
11 - NO [McClintock: YES]
12 - YES

UPDATE: So I've had this star-rating thingie on this blog for a few months now. The only score I'd received up until yesterday was my own 4-star rating for one of my own posts that I thought was particularly clever (although please don't ask me which one... can't remember). Finally I receive a rating from an actual reader! It's only 1 star, but still.

It's a little like those quick surveys that we ask customers to fill out when we've provided a service. They rank you in the toilet, but refuse to leave any comments that explain why they hate you.

Ah, well. At least someone noticed.