Prepare Ye, Lest Ye Be Consumed
Brett Arends, writing for the Wall Street Journal, opens his column with this line:
I don't want to alarm anybody [Ed.: Oh, you most certainly DO, sir.], but maybe it's time for Americans to start stockpiling food.Nice opening. Kind of thing that makes a fella feel warm all over. Reminds me a little of the scene in Monsters, Inc:
"In my professional opinion, now would be the perfect time to panic!"Nothing like a little dire warning to get the blood flowing. Latter-day Saints, however, take these warnings with a huge grain of salt. It's not that we don't understand that inflationary pressures will drive the cost of food through the roof. It's simply that we've been counselling our members for decades to store up against calamity. No need to specify; you can take your choice: earthquake, famine, floods, fires, hurricanes, sickness, loss of job, Democrats in the White House. The prudent need not fear. Much.
[TV crashes to floor as if to underscore the need for panic.]
So a "report" says that oil prices will more or less double within the next four years. Q'uel surprise. I suppose we'd better start stockpiling oil, too.
Hot on the heels of that report comes word that Patrick Moore, founder of Greenpeace, has decided that, yeah, fossil fuels need to be eliminated, but, y'know... nuclear power may not be so bad after all. He said this to the Boise Metro Chamber of Commerce.
His remarks were interrupted by the appearance of a pig flying low over the pulpit.
I will state for the record that we at Hacienda Woody are doing our part. Grudgingly, but we're doing our part. We have decided that gas prices have finally forced us to have a non-travel vacation this year. We'll spend our time working around the Hacienda (heaven knows, it needs our attention), and taking a couple of day trips around the immediate area. May have to include Disneyland in our plans. I'll just pull the fam behind my bicycle.
Jenna Said WHAT??
Finally, we have word that young Jenna Bush, heiress to the fabulous Bush empire, has indicated she "may not" support Sen. McCain for President this November. Now, while this statement may have been reported by the same newswires that have completely ignored the Obama-Ayers connection, and while it has caused ripples of fear through every Republican as far away as the Rose Garden, most of us Republicans (and I count myself in that number) are not losing any sleep over it. Jenna is a young twenty-something girl who still has a lot to learn about the political world around her. She's at just the right age to have those liberal leanings that say, hey, life isn't at all fair and we need to do something about that. At some point, she'll find out that doing something about it and actually solving it are two completely different things. Time and experience will teach her those lessons.
For me? The whole "Jenna-gate" controversy is a non-entity. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here.