Sunday, September 12, 2004

Ah... Perspective!

In a week's time, I will be enjoying the fruits of my labor by indulging in that most capitalist of pleasures: Vacation.

From that perspective, things like RatherGate suddenly seem terribly unimportant. As I mentioned elsewhere, Dan will likely still have his job when I get back, and will in fact be rehearsing his Election Night Coverage lines.

"We can now safely project, with 1.2% of all precincts reporting, that CBS News will once again misstate who the next President of the United States will be, thanks in large part to electronic voting. More from our man in the field, Bill Burkett."

I'm also keeping an eye on Hurricane Ivan, even though most computer tracks don't project Ivan to be anywhere near northern California where I will be vacationing. However, my Boss is, even now, on a Disney Cruise right smack where Ivan is currently horsing around, so I'm not sure whether or not he may wander into the office sometime this week, looking somewhat water-logged.

Starting tomorrow afternoon, my every waking moment will be focused completely on a futile attempt to prepare this family to "move out," so to speak. I won't have much time except during lunches to catch up on the blogosphere, and I'm beginning to suspect that a form of withdrawal will ensue. Not a big one, mind, but a withdrawal nonetheless. My Chief of Operations has informed me that the laptop will NOT be accompanying us on this trip, so even if a hotel has WiFi, I'm SOL ("Sorta Outta Luck," if you must know).

Upon my return to civilization, the campaign will have five weeks of fury remaining. Not counting, of course, the innumerable recounts of fraudulent votes tabulated by Florida's soggy touch-screens.

Soon the debates will take place. Debates that will not swing one single vote in either direction. Unless they're going for the "disenfranchised voter with the IQ of pudding" demographic. Because that's all the substance they're going to get for their money. I will not be among the viewers. My IQ is at least the level of ice cream, or maybe even (yum!) Jamba Juice©®™! Therefore, my vote cannot be swung. Swang? Swinged? Ok, maybe ice cream was generous...

All of this, I guess, by way of saying that my posts for the next two to three weeks may be light, or non-existent. But I'll return, probably in better shape than either candidate, or any major news organization.


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