Friday, June 27, 2008

John McCain and Alien-nation

(Warning: Way Too Late at Night Hyperbole Alert)

There are things about this election that really irk me, and primary among them is that we Republicans have been saddled with a candidate who has gone out of his way to alienate Republican voters.

Mrs. Woody has already deflected a couple of phone calls from Republican money grubbers in the past few weeks. I think she knows that there are few things that raise my blood pressure faster than people asking for money who clearly have not earned that right. If Mr. McCain really, truly "needs" my money as badly as he says he does (or his sycophantic telemarketers say they do, at any rate), then he needs to quit torquing us off.

Any Republican telemarketer that happens to have the bad fortune to get me on the phone had better hope the campaign will cover the costs of a good ear doctor. He's gonna get an earfull.

"You want my money, eh?"

"Yes, Mr. Woody, we need to be able to outspend Obama so that we can..."

"Hold it right there, Junior. Is your candidate still chummy with the Open Borders special interests?"

"Well, sir, I wouldn't really classify it that way..."

"No, I'm sure you wouldn't. Does he still believe that 'Global Warming' is our fault and therefore we should front the costs of 'fixing it?'"

"Sir, you can't deny that Global Warming is a problem..."

"I would never do that, but I have yet to see incontrovertible proof that it's my fault. Does McCain still claim to be a conservative even though he clearly has no patience with conservative voters?"

"John McCain is proud of his conservative recor..."

"Yes, I know. Good luck with your fundraising. You're gonna need it."

See, unlike John McCain, I still see open borders as a problem. In fact, were I a senior Republican senator from Arizona, and I knew that Mexican nationals had crossed the border into my home state to perform home invasion robberies and commit murder in the process, I think I'd be a bit more concerned with building the dam'd fence.

I also think that with our economy in the toilet (if not the actual U-bend), I might be more helpful in opening up the prospects of drilling for something that we badly need while we wait interminably for the infrastructure to support greener alternatives. Seems McCain wasn't even interested enough to attend the vote on that one.

Thanks, John, for alienating conservative voters and simultaneously creating an alien nation. I'm sure glad you, at least, can sleep soundly at night. Me... I might just have to thank the Supreme Court and go buy me a gun. Maybe then I'll sleep a bit better.

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