Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Curmudgeon's Guide for Young Conservative Voters

California Special Election Edition (May 19, 2009)

Here we go again, young conservatives. Uncle Woody was wondering just how long it would take before California politicians ("Spending Your Money So You Don't Get To") came up with a special election to hide the fact that, basically, they're just one big, happy, dysfunctional family up there in Sacramento.

Governor Steroids has already shown that he'd rather put the blame on the voters than try to get those girly men in the legislature to sit down and make tough choices in order to balance our budget. Didn't work last time, either. In fact, Uncle Woody is going to go out on a limb here and say that, pound for pound, special elections in California are about as effective as an Obama cabinet appointee.

Your California politicians were so lazy this time, young conservatives, that they didn't even bother to come up with new numbers for each proposition on the ballot. No, this time we get to decide between 1A, 1B, 1C, 1D, 1E, and 1F. 4-F is actually what comes to Uncle Woody's mind when he sees this sort of nonsense, and those who once upon a time had to worry about being drafted know what Uncle Woody is talking about. Heaven only knows what we'd be paying for if the legislature ever made it to 2.

So let's make it easy this time around and give you the ENTIRE BALLOT RECOMMENDATION IN ONE WORD, okay, young conservatives? Here it is:


It really is just that simple, young conservatives. Uncle Woody wants you all to march into your polling places on May 19, look at the silly ballot that's already costing taxpayers millions of dollars during an economic downturn (makes sense!) and select "No" for every proposition on the page.

But, of course, you young conservatives have come to rely on Uncle Woody's rapier wit and detailed analyses of these ballot initiatives over the years, so I'll go ahead and chime in:

1A (Boy, this sounds familiar, doesn't it?) In the last election, 1A masqueraded as a high-speed rail line between Los Angeles and San Francisco. I think. That was several months ago before we elected Hope and Change to the White House. My memory is already numb. Anyway, 1A has now been rebranded as "State Budget. Changes California Budget Process. Limits State Spending. Increases 'Rainy Day' Budget Stabilization Fund."

Considering the fact that we haven't enjoyed a budget surplus in this state since Pete Wilson was in office, and the fact that RINO-in-Chief Schwarzenburger, or whatever his name is, can't get anyone to agree with any of his spending policies, I can't imagine that it's actually the "process" that needs fixing. In fact, Uncle Woody envisions "fixing" a large number of Sacramento politicians in the veterinary sense of the word.

That Uncle Woody would support.

1B Titled "Education Funding. Payment Plan." It should also be sub-titled "Heavily Sponsored by the Socialist California Teachers Association." This one is a highly transparent attempt by the teachers union in this state to punish the Governator for "borrowing" $2 billion a few years ago and forgetting (you know how it is with taxes) to pay it back. Can't get it back from Arnie? Soak the taxpayers!

In fact, 1A and 1B are being heavily pursued by the CTA, and it's no wonder. They want "their" money back, and they want to prevent state politicos from ever grabbing it again.

I wish them better luck than we taxpayers have had, but they'll get no help from Uncle Woody.

1C "Lottery Modernization Act." Oh, for Pete's sake. We don't "need" a lottery in the first place, and now they think that "modernizing" it is somehow going to generate more money for the state. So, let's see: they'll need to update lottery machines across the state, then figure out a way to recoup the investment. What to do... what to do...? Wait! Of course! The taxpayers will help! They LOVE the lottery!

Just one quick question: How many of those innumerable millionaires you've created with the lottery still live in California? Anyone? Bueller?

1D "Protects Children's Services Funding. Helps Balance State Budget." So, I'm a little surprised that I haven't seen intensive video of starving children a la Ethopian relief agency ads, because that's frankly the way this proposition is written. "Temporarily provides greater flexibility in funding to preserve health and human services for young children" is how this travesty begins. What they leave out is that they're really trying to get funding for all those undocumented children that taxpayers are getting more leery of supporting when they're having a hard time saving up for their own retirements these days.

Also, and let Uncle Woody be crystal clear here, young conservatives: the State General Fund is not a sacred cow. Time and time again, Sacramento has proven itself capable of moving that money around like some legalized Ponzi scheme, and nary a nickel of it ever ends up where it was intended.

1E "Mental Health Services Funding. Temporary Reallocation. Helps Balance State Budget."

Right. Also solves global warming, cures the common cold, and generates cold fusion renewable energy sources.

Or not.

Look, as with 1D, this is just another attempt by special interest lobbies in Sacramento to get their hands on money that we don't have. So, shuffle it around temporarily, then slip it back into the General Fund when no one is looking. Right? What could be easier?

Oh, Uncle Woody doesn't know... how about balancing the actual state budget for a change?

1F "Elected Officials' Salaries. Prevents Pay Increases During Budget Deficit Years." This one actually made Uncle Woody laugh, young conservatives. Not out loud, though. It's after midnight here at Hacienda Woody, and Uncle Woody doesn't want to wake Auntie Woody up. But I'm laughing on the inside.

Hey, we already have safeguards for preventing pay increases for elected officials, but we voters are typically too lazy or too stupid to actually use them. It's called "voting the bums out," and so far as Uncle Woody is concerned, no politician in Sacramento is immune. Or ought to be, anyway. If these idiots in tailored suits actually believe that they deserve to be paid more for wasting our money in the first place, then Uncle Woody thinks it's time to help them with a career adjustment.

So there you have it, young conservatives. Doubtless you're wondering to yourselves, "Gee. How can we possibly repay Uncle Woody for this extremely valuable advice?" Whereupon I reply, "Aw, shucks, young conservatives, it's nothing really. No, really. It's nothing. Put down the pitchforks and torches, young conservatives. Uncle Woody was only kidding! Really! Vote any way you like! Please!!"

I'm nothing if not a patriot.


Brittanicus said...

First and foremost we are a nation of laws, or as we are all anticipated? But years of previous administrations have neglected the illegal immigrant problem, to the detriment of American workers. Ever since the inception of the 1986 Immigration & Reform Act, signed into law by Ronald Reagan, the politicians have pushed for a new AMNESTY. In addition, anytime a new law has been drafted to combat the illegal immigrant occupation of our country, they have behind closed doors killed it or weakened it's enactment. The law of given instant citizenship to babies intentionally born here, is a complete misinterpretation of the 14th amendment, after the civil war that emancipated African slaves.

It was never meant for (Anchor Babies) to give pregnant illegal alien mothers the right to legal status? The law has been badly mauled because the children can then draw on US education, free medical care, free baby delivery and after care, low income housing and it is a route to many government handouts. The major problem now facing the Obama White House is are the children of illegal immigrants to blame for their parents breaking the law? Obviously the left-wingers are to blame for this conundrum, but both parties have added to neglect to the sovereign laws of our nation. I think we should follow other countries "Rule of Law" and cement in place that children who have proven themselves can go to a place of higher learning. We desperately need a wide scope of professionals in Engineering, Science and 21st Century technology. But also remember that our government settles the largest population of new immigrants on Earth. What we don't need is more poorly educated, non-English speaking, impoverished aliens, looking for handouts. Like other developed nations we must be very specific, who we pick and choose as new citizens.

We must also restrain ourselves from chain migration, who are liable to become a public charges, because the family sponsors have decided the US taxpayer should carry the financial weight? Biggest controversy must start with California--THE SANCTUARY STATE--that if you can sneak into America, the Angeleno's will keep illegal immigrants afloat with all the welfare they can collect? It 's not a joke to realize that since Proposition 187 that was derailed--never meant to be decided in the Supreme court , illegal aliens have been able take from legal people $$billions$$ in social services thanks to the mainly Liberal Sacramento Assembly. Then their is Additional Child Tax Credit (ACTC) is available to illegal immigrants even if they do not have a valid Social Security number. The EITC Earned Income Tax Credit is the most accessible of the major entitlement programs and used by more people than food stamps or Medicare and is badly abused to the tune of $47 billion dollars, without paying in a cent into the system

We can thank our corrupt liberal politicians, judges in the past as drafting a passive law, instead of entering America being a criminal offense. Now we have uncountable number of illegal aliens squatting here, because of the absolute intentional neglect of our lawmakers. Is there any other country in the world, that makes illegally crossing into their sovereign territory a Civil Crime--I really don't think so? Our laws deliberately drafted this way in favor of the open border, big Catholic church and special interest groups. To HXXX with the American people, who are forced to fight for their jobs?

But if American defeat the next Amnesty ready to pounce on the unsuspecting legal population, we must make an example in using the 1986 law. We as a people must build-on the E-Verify application, upgrade, modify to extract illegal job applicants from the workplace. Illegal immigrants who have overstayed visas, illegal crossed the border and children must be exempt from any pardon. All children of illegal parents that have committed crimes, been expelled or just deserted school should leave with parents in the usage of self-deportation. This is a compliance way to remove foreign nationals and any criminal businesses that employ them, must receive mandatory, fines, asset confiscation and prison terms. The use of a in-perpetuity E-Verify will be a ultimate deterrent and see movement of illegal labor and families packing and leaving under the term of "ATTRITION" We must force our reluctant politicians to be governed by--THE PEOPLE'S--WILL or face the dire consequences in the election process. This will surely happen when Sen. Reid, Speaker Pelosi and 48 other Senate lawmakers come up for re-election. They underfunded E-Verify, that obviously is working efficiently for them to kill it. Today I have heard Homeland Security Chief Janet Napolitano is approaching State governors to appeal the Real ID Act, that would add national standards for state-issued driver licenses and non-driver identification cards, Revising and tightening the laws on application for asylum and deportation of aliens for terrorist activity. That wouldWaiver laws that interfere with construction of physical barriers at the borders, to name a few statutes. So that means since the new Presidency, the Democratic run Congress are trying to revoke E-Verify and the Real ID act. My guess, is under this regime they will be rescinding the Federal program for State and local police called 247(g) that trains officers to arrest and detain illegal alien criminals.

The open border, free traders, special interest groups will use any contradictions, epithets, racial slurs to annul any new law--which they have done successfully up to now. But American should realize strongly, that this has nothing to do with a persons color, religion or ethnic background--and EVERYTHING--to do with being--CARTE BLANCHE--for parasite employers, who pay nothing to illegal immigrant upkeep? It's left to Taxpayers? Its everything to do with billions of dollars spent, to pacify the big Catholic church, a portion of Liberal voters and others who see nothing wrong in loading citizens, residents down with sky high taxes. Supposedly the last White House promised no thoughts of a Path to Citizenship until the border was orderly and closed to undesirable With another drafted and secret Amnesty on the House and Senate table, like always--this is not the case. Drug smuggling and incessant illegal immigration is still very prevalent. The rumors from the new White House are clearly signaling another push for AMNESTY?

So go to these sites: VDARE, FAIRUS, JUDICIALWATCH, NUMBERSUSA, AMERICANPATROL, CAPSWEB & ALIPAC. The stakes are sky high because Amnesty means, thousands more will swamp the border looking for yet a 3rd---AMNESTY.

Woody said...

Y'know... you really should consider having a blog of your own.